Points to ponder

1. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

2. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

3. What do you do when you have an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

4. Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

5. Is it possible to be totally partial?

6. What's another word for thesaurus?

7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

9. Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?

10. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

11. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

12. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

13. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

14. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

15. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

16. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

17. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

19. Why is the word abbreviation so long?

20. When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

    * This list was widely distributed over the Internet in the mid 1990s, with no mention of an author. Some visitors to this page have asserted that most of the items are quotes from the American comedian, Steven Wright. That's possible, but verification of the true authorship of these items has proven rather elusive. Item 6, however, and variations on items 9 and 20, do appear genuine Steven Wright quotes, or at least, are often associated with him. Wikipedia's article on Wright offers his own amusing take on the subject of attribution (if not now, they have in the past). It seems likely the original compiler of this list drew from a variety of comedic sources.